Driving Crazy

Many of us while going to work or anywhere must have encountered a foolish driver and you must have wondered – who on earth gave these guys a license?

I do not want any one of you to think about me that way – one of the many reasons why I don’t drive despite getting a car and a license. Getting a license here is no big deal at all. You apply for a learners and voila – whether you know the difference between the clutch or the brake – you get the license. There are even people to help you in the so called written exams they have – I did not even know what was written in tamil on the screen, a guy behind me was like press A or press C.  It’s all so neatly taken care of that we have so many people with awesome driving skills here.

I drive on highways (naturally, you don’t have to use the clutch+brake much when you’re hitting 100) and that too with my husband sitting next to me who screams like he’s in labor when he sees me doing some foolish stuff. I decided that I would be taking the car only after I have mastered the art to perfection – which is by no chance anywhere near in future.

Oh, and by the way I also got a two-wheeler license. If there was any sane man on planet earth, he would have thought twice before approving my license for two-wheelers. I still remember the days I sat on the bike to learn that with my husband behind me. If there was a dog like 10 feet away from me standing on one side – I would suddenly apply brakes - my reason: what if the doggy suddenly decided to cross the road? This selfless attitude of mine would make all the vehicles behind me stop, honk and well, you can imagine the chaos. So, in case you see a foolish driver around going on the wrong side or not signaling before turning, leave the person in peace I say – it’s just not his/her fault!

R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E-S

There are so many things that I cant understand in this planet I live in and one among that is R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E-S. How did they evolve? Okay, this I know but things like - did they evolve with brains - is something that has made my mind wonder.

You ask me 12 years back about my relatives then I would proudly tell you that they are my family but now I feel that they are this weird bunch of people who just love to wreak havoc on people. Whenever we came from vacations relatives would throng our houses and my dad like the summer Santa Claus would fling all kinds of "Faareign" things to them. They will lift me and my siblings, pull our cheeks, kiss us and never let our feet rest on the ground. Sigh! It was magical. They would all camp in our house when we leave for the airport and cry with copious tears. All the drama... phew!

Then we came here for good. I was waiting for all the attention and affection and all but where did everyone go? Soon we started hearing things like we don't help, we don't care, we are selfish people and after all they (relatives) have done for us we hardly mind them. Yeah, it tickled my funny bone too.

Recently, my uncle and his family came from abroad, so we and the relatives clan went to see them. I saw history repeat itself when my aunties and uncles were cuddling my uncle's kids, pinching their cheeks and slobbering their saliva all over them. Ugh! I was sick.

That's not all. There is always comparisons as to- 'oh my kid studies better!' or 'look I've got a kid who doesn't have a boyfriend' or 'I have brought up my kids with such discipline!' or 'look at me - I am the best.' I am so tired of such ramblings that I grew immune to it now.

I do envy some of my friends families who have such amazing relatives - they are like this perfect, fun-loving family - being there for them through thick and thin. I don't know what went wrong where in my family lineage. I just hope that my child doesn't write a blog post like this on my brother or sister's kids.