Things I wish I could change...

There are 2 dates in my 26 years that changed my life and I sometimes wish I could go back and just tweak some things but I can’t. Every now and then, I wonder what would have happened if these 2 days never happened.

April 6, 2000


This was the day I landed in Trivandrum airport – the closure of my life abroad. I came like a lamb not knowing what awaits me. I was just grumpy and thought it was only my school and the great food I am going to miss, but it took me just 2 years to realize that each single pixel was going to change. 13 years from then, the very shy, trust-everyone, only-good-things-happen-in-this-world believing girl knew life. Today she trusts no one, is actually a bit smarter than what she was (or at least that's what she thinks!) and fights for her survival each single second of life. I always wondered what if I actually never came here, what if I was always the goofy dumb person I was back then? Well, I shall never know now. I was so bitter about all the changes but today, after several years, I am glad it happened.


September 13, 2009

This was the day my dad took his last breath. It took me years to actually accept this fact. I get so worked up and jealous when I see people around me with their dads. Even when I finish work and go home, I see several proud fathers waiting to pick their daughters or sons. It suddenly tugs my heart and wish I to go back in time and stop my dad from stepping on that fateful thorn. I always wish my dad, who played with several little babies could have played with my son, flung him in the air, took him on a bike-ride and spoiled him with junk food. But God had other plans and I would never probably be fully satisfied with His justifications, though I know He always does everything for the best.Though I miss the touch of his hands, I learned that I need to give my hands to those who love me and keep his memory alive till I breathe my last.

To everyone out there who does not really understand why some things seem to squeeze the living daylights out of you, hold on there, years from now you will probably understand.

The Hitchhiker

After a long and deserving break, I am back to keep my blog on life support. Life seems to be spinning faster than the earth with the little monster, my MBA classes, office and weddings. When thinking what to write about, I thought I could write about the adventurous trips I had in Chennai for my classes. Well, I did not jump out of moving trains or fire bazookas but it was a story for me.

During August of last year, I was on the way to write my exams in Saveetha Engineering College in my brother's car at around 8:20 am. I believed I had enough time to reach the college by 10 am, which is when the exams start. As we were driving, there was a road block of some sort and we were stranded. I kept my calm since there was ample time to reach the college which was just a 10-minute drive away from where the car had stopped. The time ticked away to 9:40 and that was when I switched over to panic mode. There was a huge car line and I called my coordinator who simply said in Oxford English "You late 1 minute, not allowed for exam" beeeeeep (line dead). I sat thinking for a minute and like Archimedes, I sat up enlightened with a plan. I grabbed my books, opened the car door, ran across the divider like a crazy person on the highway amidst all the vehicles, and waved my hand for some passerby to stop. The bikes kept whizzing by but one kind guy in a helmet stopped and I asked him to drop me at the college. He gestured to hop on the bike and I did. We rode fast, zipping through the wrong side of the road, and he dropped me at the college entrance saying he was late for work. I thanked him genuinely, I don't even know how he looked like becase he wore a helmet.

Okay, so 4 minutes left. I quickly calculated and figured out that if I walk to my class from the entrance it would take at the least 10 minutes so I stopped another old dude in a moped to get a lift up until my exam block. Yes, by this time I got quite used to the idea of stopping and traveling with strangers. I thank him profusely and run to my hall. 

Sadly I was still late... and that too by just 2 FREAKING MINUTES due to which I had to write an apology letter! (it only happens in Anna University, trust me) Anyways, I wrote the exam and passed it as well. The day was super-eventful and funny but my husband did not find it funny at all. He started yapping about how I put my life in danger and how could I ever get on strangers bikes, how I needed to think with my brains, blah blah blah.

Well, I don't think there was anything practical to do than what I did, after all I have invested much of my energy, time and money to write my exams and what is life if you don't take risks, right?

Respecting 'Her'

Is it just me or is it everywhere I look I only see news on someone being raped or molested? The Delhi incident sure did give a kick-in-the-butt for all the people who were just too ignorant of the fact that we live in a country where women are treated like objects.

I am sure by now people would start analyzing, scrutinizing, reasoning and do all the 'ing's with the unfortunate incident. A couple of retards have also given such logical reasons like, 'she should have begged for her life calling them brothers' or 'what was she doing out that late' - these guys should have been leaders in the UN Council, I mean such wisdom, really! So many people have given their two pence on this incident but what if you personally knew this girl - what would you say then? Would you still say that it's none of my business, or who cares, or did she really need to watch a movie?

Last night I  thought about Jyothi, who was tagged in several names and was the talk of the month, was just a woman like me, who had dreams, lived a normal life, had friends, and had a right to live her life and everything came crashing just because she took the wrong bus? 6 barbarians, who had no meaningful life wanted to teach her a lesson apparently. What lesson? the lesson they were made to believe - that a women belongs in her kitchen, a women has no life of her own, a woman is just an object that can be used and discarded or ignored, a woman can't laugh loud, love a man, dream crazily or speak her mind. So, who taught them these so called lessons? Was it those barbarians' parents or their school or the society they lived in or the media that they were exposed to? You decide.

I live in a land where I think twice to dress while going out or board buses or walk in a crowded place. And please, QUIT saying that our clothing provokes you because my question to you then will be what dressing on a 7 month old baby girl or a 11 year old girl made you jump out of your pants? 

 

This Delhi incident is just one that actually made it to such media attention - trust me, there are thousands which are forgotten or swept under the carpet. I am sure every girl out there must have faced some sort of sexual assault in some way or the other. My question is why? Is it because of all the movies that show each close-cut scene on how helpless a woman is while getting assaulted? Is it because of the newspapers that focus on all the negativity happening around while turning a blind-eye to all the little positive stories? Is it that our people love listening to the gory details on how, when, why and by whom she was raped? I don't know.

I think we all have a part to play where we need to tell our friends, brothers, nephews, cousins or sons to respect women and make them understand that women are humans too, just like them and they are physically weaker and God gave them for a reason - to love and be loved, not to be hunted like animals or looked down upon, but instead understand and know that here is a being, who is similar to the one that brought you into this world and she truly and most definitely deserves her respect.