Friday, October 25, 2013

Things I wish I could change...

There are 2 dates in my 26 years that changed my life and I sometimes wish I could go back and just tweak some things but I can’t. Every now and then, I wonder what would have happened if these 2 days never happened.

April 6, 2000

This was the day I landed in Trivandrum airport – the closure of my life abroad. I came like a lamb not knowing what awaits me. I was just grumpy and thought it was only my school and the great food I am going to miss, but it took me just 2 years to realize that each single pixel was going to change. 13 years from then, the very shy, trust-everyone, only-good-things-happen-in-this-world believing girl knew life. Today she trusts no one, is actually a bit smarter than what she was (or at least that's what she thinks!) and fights for her survival each single second of life. I always wondered what if I actually never came here, what if I was always the goofy dumb person I was back then? Well, I shall never know now. I was so bitter about all the changes but today, after several years, I am glad it happened.

September 13, 2009

This was the day my dad took his last breath. It took me years to actually accept this fact. I get so worked up and jealous when I see people around me with their dads. Even when I finish work and go home, I see several proud fathers waiting to pick their daughters or sons. It suddenly tugs my heart and wish I to go back in time and stop my dad from stepping on that fateful thorn. I always wish my dad, who played with several little babies could have played with my son, flung him in the air, took him on a bike-ride and spoiled him with junk food. But God had other plans and I would never probably be fully satisfied with His justifications, though I know He always does everything for the best.Though I miss the touch of his hands, I learned that I need to give my hands to those who love me and keep his memory alive till I breathe my last.

To everyone out there who does not really understand why some things seem to squeeze the living daylights out of you, hold on there, years from now you will probably understand.


  1. Really a touching post..
    keep it strong gibs :)

  2. Hey, poignant post... I can relate to the first experience, I hated coming back to India after a great childhood there. But after all these years, I am pretty glad I did...
    I fear the next experience, it's always sad to see parents go... memories are what remain and the faith that we'll be together again.